Quote Joke or Hint?

June 2002

Dear Answer Man:
I am starting a new business and since you have your own toilet cleaning business I thought you might help me set up the internal administration of my business.

Dear Butthead:
I told you to forget that toilet cleaning stuff, but thanks for reminding me, (Jerk).

In order to answer your question I had to go to two of my associates, Dan Ruth and David Shawler. Since David works in a big government office, I had Dan go over there and stand by the water cooler for a week and here is  what he found out.

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has one neutron, twelve assistant neutrons, seventy-five deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally require less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but  instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and the deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Administratium mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutron forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity of concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.

This is the Answer Man, and I'll see you down the road

Gordon Graves

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